None of us enter into a relationship thinking about it coming to an end. We all hope that this one’s going to lead to our happy ever after. And of course, many relationships do. But some, sadly, come to an end. But when do you actually know that it’s time to call it a day?
There are many signals that say a relationship might be in its final stages. And, to be honest, most soon to be ex-relationships finish because of a combination of reasons – not just a single one in isolation.
The following are red flags that might be signs that the relationship you’re in right now is ready to come to its natural conclusion…
It’s just not fun anymore
When you first got together you did nothing but have fun. And sure, we all understand that those heady first weeks and months give way to something a little more ‘normal’. But no matter how long you stay together, a healthy relationship still should have a large element of fun within it.
Relationship counselor, Barbara J Peters, published an interesting article on ways to put the fun back in your relationship. Many couples find that they can rekindle that joy of being together. But hey, in some cases – no matter how hard one or both of you try – it seems that the fun element of being together has simply dissipated. Unless you’re able to reawaken this happy, joyous element with your partner, this might be a signal that it’s time to call it a day.
You don’t trust him/her
Trust is a tricky thing. It strengthens slowly – and once it’s there it’s a bit like spider silk: one of the strongest things known to man, but once broken, it can never be put back together in the same way.
Trust can be broken in many ways. Of course, the one that springs to mind is when one partner is unfaithful. But actually, trust can be undermined in many different ways. Failing to keep promises, saying one thing and doing another, flirting on Facebook, constantly forgetting important dates like anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine’s Day – these are just some ways that trust can degrade over time.
The thing is, no relationship can survive without trust. And if you’re the one who’s lost trust in your partner, this might well be a reason for you to end the relationship.
It’s only physical
Sex is a very important part of a relationship. But if it’s the ONLY part, then this can be an issue. The physical aspect of a relationship changes over time. The natural progression is into something that’s more loving and caring. And if you only have the physical side, then there’s nothing for it to evolve into.
Dating website, eHarmony sums up the stages of a relationship. And it appears that most relationships fail during stage 2 – when the ‘romance’ stage (AKA ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’) ends and realism begins to set in. If the only thing keeping you together is sex, then when this fantastic stage finishes, so will the relationship.
You can’t see a future
Whatever stage your relationship is in, then it’s normal to be looking towards the future. Actively planning to share your life with your partner – be this marriage or otherwise – is important for the long-term success of the relationship.
If you can’t see a future, then unless you’re in it for just a ‘fling’, this could be time to bring it to a natural end.
You’re working hard at the relationship, but your partner isn’t
No matter how great you and your partner are together, there will be times when the relationship needs to be worked at. And for this to succeed, then it needs to be a mutual effort. A good relationship is kept that way because both people invest time and effort into it. If this becomes one-sided, and you’re the only one working at it, then this should be a warning bell that the end might be in sight.
You’re constantly fighting
Now, the odd fight here and there isn’t an issue. In fact, it can be a healthy release or a way to air your views. But when you start to fight over every little thing… Well, this is a sign of a problem.
Counseling might help. But if you’ve been down every avenue looking for a solution and still haven’t found one, then the only way forward might be to end the relationship.
This can come in many forms. Drugs, alcohol, gambling… And while you want to help the person you love overcome such a problem, if they can’t or won’t do something about it, then this is going to have a massive effect on you. Such behavior is destructive. And, let’s face it, you’re in a relationship to be their partner – not their therapist.
Only you can decide if this is something you can live with or not. Addiction ruins lives – and not only the lives of the addict. It has a profound effect on those around them as well.
Any type of abuse, be it physical or emotional, is a no-brainer for ending a relationship. Easier said than done, we know, and the last thing we want to do is sound flippant. But anyone who abuses their partner does not deserve love and respect from them. This goes for both men and women – there’s absolutely no excuse for it. If you’re the one being abused, then there’s only one thing to do – and that’s to end it.
These are only some of the reasons that it might be time to end a relationship. This video on You Tube offers some very balanced advice on why you might be thinking of bringing your relationship to an end. In the end, only you can decide to take the plunge and walk away from your partner.
Whatever decision you make, don’t do it on a whim. But if ending it is the best thing for you, then you’ve got to go for it. Life, as they say, is short – so live the best (and happiest) one you can. And if that happens to be without your current partner, then so be it…