So you may well have broken up. But that doesn’t mean that your relationship is past saving. In fact, it could well the shake up that you need to forge forward to make the relationship successful and harmonious once more.
The following are steps you can take to ensure that a) saving the relationship is actually the right thing to do and, b) doing everything you can to give your partnership the very best chance of success.
Take some time to cool off
This is essential. It’s likely that both of you are feeling hurt and/or angry – and none of us best function in such an emotional state. A cooling off period allows you both to come to terms with what’s happened and to sort out how your really feel about it.
Go slow. Real slow
By this, we mean don’t just jump straight back to where you were before the break up. Instead, go back to dating. Remember how exciting that was? Feeling that tingle in the pit of your belly when he/she sent you a text. Getting dressed up for a date. That kiss goodbye at the end of the night… You get the picture.
Talk, talk, and talk some more
Communication is going to be key in this tricky making up stage. And the more you talk about why you broke up and what you can both do to move past the situation, the more greater the likelihood of a successful reunion.
The thing is, it was probably lack of communication that to some extent led to your breakup in the first place. So working hard on this aspect of your relationship will be crucial to ensuring your future relationship happiness.
Commit to each other
If you’re both on the same page, then you need to make a solid commitment to each other that you truly want the relationship to work. Because, let’s face it, a breakup will have given both of you a real dent to your confidence (even if one or the other of you won’t admit it).
You both need to hear that the other person is as committed as you are. Tell the other person that you’re in it for the long haul – through the good and the bad – and that you’re not going to bail if the going happens to get tough again at some point in the future.
Don’t jump straight back into the marital bed
OK – so you might not be married, but you get the sentiment. Whilst being intimate is important in any relationship, you two need to sort out other issues before you hit the sack once again.
You’ll be amazed at how taking it slowly can bring you far, far closer to each other. And when it does eventually happen again, it’ll be like falling in love all over again…
Make mutual goals
This is about learning to be a team again. Because you’ve kinda moved in separate ways if you’ve got to the stage of a breakup. Talk about what you both want from the relationship – and make goals to move towards.
It doesn’t matter what those goals might be. Perhaps you eventually want to live together again. Or get married (or renew your vows). Are kids on the agenda? Or would taking a vacation together be a good step along the road to recovery?
The goals the two of you set are personal to you, and will depend on where your relationship was before the break up. No goals are right and no goals are wrong – it’s what is the correct path for the pair of you that matters.
And most importantly, follow your heart…
Because if your heart doesn’t tell you that getting back together is the right thing, then it probably isn’t. But if you genuinely feel that the two of you are meant to be (and, equally – so does your partner), then go for it. And do whatever it takes to bring your relationship back to a happy reality.