How To Get My Confidence Back

Many things can rattle your confidence. And to one degree or another, a confidence crisis is something that we all suffer from at some point in our lives. It may or may not surprise you to know that research has proven that women tend to lack confidence more than men. But when you’re in the grips of self-doubt, it makes not an iota of difference whether you’re male or female – it still sucks!

So, let’s take a look at some easy to accomplish, positive steps that anyone can take to start building your confidence back up again.

Give yourself a break

Bicyclist Napping

When your confidence is dented, it becomes all too easy to be way too hard on yourself. Why did I mess up that speech? I’m useless at my job. I must be hideously unattractiveThese are the kind of thoughts that can plague you when you’re at a low ebb.

The first thing to do if you find yourself in such a situation is to take a little bit of time out. By this, we’re not talking about a vacation (nice as that might be): we’re talking about spending a little bit of time well within your comfort zone. Now, what this might be is different for everyone. It could be hanging out with your best mate. Painting a picture. Singing in the shower. Reading a book. Going to a movie… It really doesn’t matter exactly what it is. It’s simply doing whatever or going wherever you can that allow you to relax, and totally be yourself.

This action is about allowing your brain a little time out to recharge. You don’t need to be here long – as little as an hour or so can be enough to allow you to make the gap between the feelings of self-doubt and beginning your journey to recovering your confidence.

Fake it

Confident woman on railroad tracks

A little something known as the ‘self perception theory’ states that if you simply act in a manner of being confident, it can actually MAKE you more confident. There are many ways you can do this. Smile a lot, stand up tall, take care of your personal grooming, dress well… All of these things are easy steps that all of us can do that will make us appear more confident. And the bizarre thing is that such simple actions not only kid the outside world, it appears that acting in this manner also changes the way you perceive yourself as well.

Get up off your butt

Man Running Jogging Road

It might sound a bit of a cliché, but being active really does make you feel better in all sorts of ways. We’re not suggesting you start training to run a marathon (although by all means, if this is something that you’ve thought about, then why not?). Simply going for a walk can have an amazing effect on your thoughts and positivity.

Forget the moon – keep your feet firmly on Planet Earth

Set yourself a goal – a small one. It can be anything you like, but it needs to be one that’s easily achievable. Sure, it might seem a good time to plan something major, but when your confidence is at a low ebb, the last thing you need is a challenge that’s too difficult to achieve.

The whole idea of a realistic goal is that it’s satisfying when you get there. Once that’s done, set another – small – goal. Continue in this manner, and you’ll eventually find that you’ll be setting yourself bigger challenges – and meeting them. What is reinforcing is your own sense of self-belief. Small victories are the perfect way forward, rather than risking it all on a massive goal and failing along the way.

Challenge the grey matter

Knowledge, as they say, is power. So if your confidence has been dented, get out there and get learning. If you failed to get a promotion, ask for feedback and find out what you can do to increase your chances next time. For anyone struggling at work/school/college, ask for some coaching to help bring you up to speed. If your confidence in your looks and/or body has taken a beating, then head to the experts (a hairdresser/personal shopper/personal trainer etc.) to help you realize the best way enhance your naturally good features and end up looking awesome.

Do unto others…

Behavior attracts similar behavior. The simple act of being kind to others creates an environment where people are more likely to treat you the same. More importantly, acting in such a way makes you feel good about yourself. It’s a win-win situation for all involved.

Start a habit

Apple in a Glass of Water

No, we’re not suggesting you slope off to the shady part of town and purchase something not quite legal to ‘enhance your mind’! But what we do advocate is taking up a small healthy habit that’s easy to fit into your lifestyle. Something simple, such as ensuring you drink a couple of liters of water per day. Or walking up flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator, or calling your mum once a week to say hi.

It takes around 21 days for a new habit to form. Set yourself a target of a month to carry it out. When you get there, not only will you feel fantastic that you’ve achieved it, but you’ll more than likely have a healthy and/or happy new addition to your lifestyle to boot!

Work on your ‘to-do’ list

We all have lists – be they of the physical kind or ones in your head. And undoubtedly there’s at least one thing (probably a lot more) that always get bumped for something more important. Well, stopping that procrastination and actually doing something you’ve been thinking about for a (short or long) period of time, can be a wonderful confidence booster.

Keep trying

This is so important. None of us can go through life without a few (or a lot) of knocks along the way. No matter how much this fills you with self-doubt, the need to keep moving forward is essential. Using the above tips to help you do this can make the journey a little easier. Note that we’re not saying ‘easy’, because – sweet stuff – life simply ain’t like that… But it’s the little things we do that actually make up the big stuff.

When it comes to getting your confidence back, stick to the small, and you really will find that the bigger picture looks after itself.