So, girls… You want to get to know your guy a little better? The following questions will certainly give you a sneaky peak into his personality.
Do you think men and women are equal?
So, let’s pull no punches here. Because no matter what we’d like to believe, there’s still a whole bunch of fellas out there who think that it’s a man’s job to protect us poor, sensitive girlies…
Now, this may well be OK if you’re the type who wants her guy to be her protector. But if you’re the type that thinks women can do anything men can, then this could be a problem in the future.
What was your relationship with your parents like?
Here’s hoping it was a good one – because that’s the ideal. A loving upbringing tends to create people who’ll do the same for their own kids in the future. Whereas those who perhaps had a critical, harsh, or even violent childhood can (although not always, we hasten to add), unconsciously do the same to their own children.
Is it important to have a flashy car?
This will show you how important image is to him. OK, we accept that it can be a ‘guy thing’ to want an expensive set of wheels. But if you’re the type that really doesn’t care what car you drive – as long as it gets you from A to B – and he has to change his to the latest model every 18 months, then you both have a different set of ideals when it comes to appearances.
OK, this may not be a problem right now. But in the future, when the two of you are a committed item, there might be a conflict of interest when it comes to spending habits.
Do you care about my relationship past?
Unless he’s your first love, it’s highly likely that you’ve both had previous relationships. So how does he feel about this? Will he get all ‘growly’ if you bump into one of your ex’s? Worse, would he belittle you, or make you feel bad that you’ve got a past? In other words, is he the jealous type? If he is, can you handle it? Or, if he truly doesn’t mind, would you perhaps prefer if he did?
Neither is right or wrong, it’s just important that you’re cool with whichever he is.
You’ve got an extra $500. What would you do with it?
His answer will tell you if he’s a generous soul (he’d buy something for someone he cares about), somewhat selfish (he’d spend it all on himself), cautious/responsible (he’ll save the money), or compassionate (he’d donate it to charity.
What would be a deal breaker in a relationship?
His answer may well surprise you. Sure, it could be something you’d expect him to say, like remaining faithful. But he might not like a girl who drinks too much, smokes, or is prone to emotional outbursts in public. Whatever it is, if your honest and you know that you have a behavioural trait that he’s not going to be keen on, now is the time to ‘fess up. Because, let’s face it, if you’re truly going to have a relationship that stands the test of time, you need to be able to be your true self.
You’ve got a free vacation to anywhere in the world. Where would it be?
This will give you some insight into his personality. Is he an adventure junkie? If so, his dream destination might be mountain climbing in the Himalayas, or diving in the Indian Ocean. Perhaps he loves history and tradition, and wants to visit Rome, Italy to immerse himself in all the wonderful buildings of the Roman Empire.
Maybe he’d like to go to Africa to help out in an underprivileged village. Or perhaps he wants simply to go to a place with an amazing beach and chill with a good book. All and any answers are OK, but do they tally with what you’d like to do? Sure, it’s good to have opposing interests. But you do want to have some things in common to do together.
What’s more important? Money or family?
Again, neither answer is right or wrong. What matters is that you’re both singing from the same song sheet. If you believe that a family being together as a unit is more important than having extra money, but he feels that it would be alright for him to work away a lot of the time to provide for his family, then this is something you need to know now – not in 5 years time when you’ve got a mortgage and a couple of kids to look after.
These are all pretty deep questions. And they can be difficult to ask, especially in the early stages of a relationship. But hey – better to be informed and be able to make rational decisions about whether he’s the one before you’re in too deep. Keep the questioning light hearted, and who knows – if his answers are what you hope, this could well be the start of your relationship with ‘the one’.