Dating! It’s a minefield, isn’t it? You think you’ve finally got women understood, and boom! Along comes a curve ball that knocks you sideways. No-one can get inside a woman’s head, right…?
Well, help is at hand, guys. Here’s some dating advice especially for you – and most importantly, from the perspective of a (rational, we promise) woman.
You only get one chance at a first impression
There are many theories out there that give a number of seconds that it takes for someone to get their first impression of you (7 seconds is the commonly held belief, but certain studies now say that it’s really as short as the blink of an eye!).
Now, we’re not saying that you necessarily need to turn up in all your finery, but one thing you should definitely ensure on a first (and subsequent) date is to be clean, shaven, smart(ish) clothes, a spot of aftershave… You get the picture.
Be on time
Being late (for whatever reason – even if it’s truly not your fault), sends out a subliminal method that you simply don’t care enough. And actually, if you’ve gone to the trouble of arranging a date, and then don’t put enough effort into turning up on time, then in all honesty, you probably don’t care enough…
Shut up (well, at least for some of the time)
Now, you do need to talk about yourself. But hey, not all of the time. Nothing’s worse than a guy who considers what he has to say far more important than anyone else’s. Ask her questions, mix it up a little. Keep what you have to say short and don’t ramble on.
A big clue that you’re going on a bit is whether or not she’s still paying attention. Eye contact is a key here, because if she begins to avoid it, then perhaps you need to wind in your stories somewhat…
Forget the ‘ex’
Yes, we know you have a past (and, hold the front page, so do we!). But hearing all about your ex on a first or second date does not make for the forging of a good new relationship. Sure, if the conversation heads that way then it doesn’t hurt to give it a brief airing. But the key word here is ‘brief’.
Turn off your phone
How would it make you feel if she focused her attention on her cell, rather than on you? It’s simply bad manners to leave your phone on during a date. Unless, that is, there’s some life and death emergency that you just have to deal with (your mum’s on her death bed, your kid’s in hospital with his arm chopped off… That kind of emergency). But hey, if you’re in a life-situation such as that, what on earth are you doing out on a date anyway?
Key takeaway message here. Turn off the damn phone!
Offer to pay
Yes, times have moved on and we’re quite capable of paying for ourselves. But it’s still nice for a guy to offer. In all reality we’ll probably insist on going halves. You then have the choice of insisting to pay (nicely, of course) and saying she can pay next time – if you want there to be a next time, naturally – or taking her up on the offer of splitting the bill.
If you say you’re gonna call, then for goodness sakes, call!
Listen. Contrary to what most guys think, we’re not all bunny boilers! We’re reasonable people that simply expect people to do as they say. And – quelle surprise! – It’s OK to not want to see us a second time if you don’t want to.
So if you finish the date and you don’t want to get back in contact, don’t say “I’ll call you”. Because hey, do you really want to live up to the stereotype male who promises to call and then doesn’t? All you need to say if you don’t want to meet up again is something along the lines of, “that was a nice evening, you take care”. Guess what? We’ll know exactly what you mean by that, and simply chalk it up to experience.
And if you do want to see her again – then it’s OK to say so. And it’s OK to send a text later that night, or call in the morning. This is the 21st century, after all. Game playing is for losers. And actually, if you really are a loser, then you don’t deserve us anyway.
And last, but definitely not least…
Remember, not all girls are relationship material. There’s so much advice out there – from women to men and vice versa – but never lose sight of the fact that YOU deserve someone who lives up to your expectations, as well as the other way around.
Remember, crazy will always be crazy – and it doesn’t make for a satisfying relationship. In fact, if you get a whiff of crazy, run away as fast as you can… Cos it ain’t gonna get any better…
And our last tip? Try and enjoy your dating. It’s meant to be fun, after all. And when you come across the inevitable bumps along the path to true love, then simply put them down to experience. Good luck, and enjoy…