One thing everyone wants out of life, even if they do not know it, is to feel fulfilled – to feel as though they did things that matter and made them feel accomplished. If this is the kind of life goal you want to set for yourself, Dale Carnegie has a few rules you can follow.
Taken straight from Dale Carnegie’s Secrets of Success, these top eight rules for living will help you be more fulfilled throughout your lifetime no matter what you are doing or where you end up.
“Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.”
You know the golden rule, “Treat others the way you wish to be treated?” Carnegie’s rules are often derived from this principle. If you made a mistake, didn’t perform your best or found yourself falling behind, you wouldn’t want someone to come up to you and start listing off all your faults in alphabetical order. Don’t complain about those who do things differently than you. Don’t shame someone else for not getting it right the first time. For one thing, it’s just not nice. For another, it doesn’t help anyone learn.
In doing this, you will feel more fulfilled simply because you will have won at least a little respect from those around you, just by being kind and courteous for the sake of maintaining the peace.
Sincerely make other people feel important.
Everyone wants to feel as though they matter. Everyone, including you, needs that reassurance that will keep their head above water even when things get hard. Even if you do not always have someone to reassure you of your importance, you can live a more fulfilled life just by being that person for someone else.
Take time out of your day to reach out to someone, whether you know them well or have never met them before, just to let them know how important they are. If you have never turned someone’s day around before, rest assured that the accompanying warmth you will feel for doing something good will last for quite a long time.
“If you are wrong, admit it.”
In romantic relationships, in the workplace, among friends – it doesn’t matter what the situation is. The general rule should always be as follows: if you were in the wrong somehow, just come right out and say it. There is nothing weak or submissive about saying, “I was wrong.” In fact, it is probably the best thing for everyone involved.
So maybe admitting it when you are wrong is not the easiest thing to do, especially in the workplace or in a more personal relationship with someone you care about. So why do it? Because taking responsibility for things is how you earn respect and a good reputation. And knowing you are respected, and building up a reputation for being professional and humble, will leave you feeling full – in a good way.
Encourage other people to correct and learn from their mistakes.
Speaking of being wrong, it can be really embarrassing. Admitting you were wrong and taking responsibility for your mistakes is one thing. In taking on that responsibility, though, you automatically agree to do what you can to make up for it. This is probably the hardest part of the whole process.
Think about it from someone else’s perspective if they are the ones who admitted a mistake. Instead of making them feel more embarrassed and ashamed, be their cheerleader and coach. Encourage them to try again, and give them advice if they want it. Being on the other side of a teachable moment, knowing you are helping someone out, leads to the best kind of fulfillment.
“Try to profit from your losses.”
Everyone messes up. You will lead a much more fulfilling life, however, if you learn as early on as you can to make the most of what you lose. If you let every failure or shortcoming bring you down, you will never be satisfied. If you teach yourself to reap the lessons of each loss, learn from them and keep moving forward, you will find that failure quickly beings to seem much less devastating and much more acceptable.
“Create happiness for others.”
The world does not revolve around you. It never has, and it never will. If you want to live a much more fulfilled life, one thing you can do is take the spotlight off of you and shine it on someone else for a change.
You can go out of your way every day to make someone else happy just by paying more attention to your surroundings. In doing that, you will feel much happier and more fulfilled, too.
“Learn to rest before you get tired.”
In general as a society these days we have a habit of working ourselves sick. While you might in the present moment think that this is one hundred percent worth the sacrifice, it isn’t.
Living a fulfilled life does not involve working so hard you have no time for rest. The health of your physical and emotional self as well as that of your relationships with family, friends and co-workers depends on your ability to rest before you reach a breaking point. Rest more often than you think you need to, and you will live a much longer, happier life.
“Put enthusiasm into your work.”
Even if you do not have a job that you love, one final key to living a more fulfilled life is to be enthusiastic about your work anyway. If you put more enthusiasm into the work you do, the results will show both within you and around you.
Sometimes one of the most fulfilling things we can do is set an example for others. If you can show those around you, and yourself, that you are able to find joy even in things that seem to have none, the whole environment changes. Others notice. Being more positive about your work will help you turn your attitude around and spread that positivity around the office.
Follow these rules for success, and you will lead a life more fulfilling than you ever thought possible.