Hey, girls. We all know that relationships can be hard. And men? Well, if you’ve learned to understand them, then please share – because for most of us, they’re damned difficult to fathom out (and guys say we’re impossible to get to grips with…)!
So if you’re looking for a little heads up on how to make your relationship stronger, then here are some great tips to help that loving feeling remain, well – loving – and the relationship a happier, stronger one for both of you.
1. Guys are sensitive souls
Yep – ‘tis true, even though it’s far too painful for the male ego to admit to. But before you think this is about ‘guy-bashing’ let’s be clear on what this actually means. Men have as many insecurities, worries, and concerns as we do about relationships. This means that despite what they might have us believe, they’re pretty easy to hurt.
Never put your guy down in public, or talk down to him (and that goes for private conversations too). And if he’s made a mistake in the past, there really is no need to continually bring it up whenever you have words. Be nice, think before you speak or act – in fact, treat his ego in the same sensitive way that you want him to treat yours – thinking of it in this way makes it easier to actually carry out.
2. There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’
A cliché comment, we know. But you and your man really are a team – and in teamwork, there’s no winners or losers. Point scoring is not a way to win him over (and vice versa). If you’ve got something that needs working through – do it together. The idea being that the end result is a happier relationship, not scoring points against each other.
3. Drop the drama
Ladies – guys hate drama queens. Actually, most of us hate drama queens, when it boils down to it. If you want to push your fella away, then make a scene over the slightest little thing. Drama equals complication. And who honestly wants a complicated relationship?
4. Don’t forget to scrub up
OK, so it might not be the easiest thing to always look your best. But no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, you still need to make an effort. Let’s be honest here – putting on some lip gloss and a bit of mascara really does make all the difference. And it makes you feel good too.
It might sound a bit archaic – but girls, we do need to continue to make the effort. After all, you want your guy to fancy you as much as he did when you first met. And to do this, you need to put as much energy into looking good now as you did back then.
5. Be a lady
Yep – the staunch feminists out there will holler at this one – and there’s a whole lot of girls who compete at being ‘one of the boys’. Now, we’re not about to suggest a rewind to the 1950s, but come on ladies – you should be proud of your sex. You want your guy to be a ‘man’ don’t you? Well, then you should reciprocate and act like a lady (at least in public – what you do in the bedroom is a completely different matter…).
6. He’s not a mind reader
No-one can know what you’re thinking, so don’t expect your man to be able to. If something’s on your mind – tell him! That way, things are out in the open and he’ll have the chance to understand your needs.
7. Ease up on the silent treatment
You might think that you’re making a point by being silent if he’s done something wrong. But this is, let’s face it, a real childish way of dealing with a problem. If someone refuses to talk to you then all it does is put up barriers. If there’s an issue, tell him – it’ll make sorting it out and moving forward a whole lot more likely than simply stewing in silence.
8. Don’t try too hard
You don’t have to be a doormat to be loved. In fact, trying to always act in a way simply to please him is only going to make him take you for granted. Sure, you need to make an effort in your relationship, but that doesn’t mean becoming a ‘yes’ person simply to make him happy.
Mutual respect is something that both parties have a responsibility for. You want to look after his happiness, and he needs to do the same for you. If it’s all one sided then this will eventually be a recipe for disaster.
9. Have fun
Remember when you first met? The amount you laughed, played, and simply enjoyed each other’s company. Well, it’s important to keep that going, even though at times it seems that the inevitable drudgery of life takes over.
Take time out to enjoy yourselves and have fun together. A walk in the park, laughing at a cheesy movie, doing stupid things together or enjoying ‘in’ jokes… It’s all part and parcel of what makes a happy relationship.
If life’s so full up that it seems you never get the chance to simply ‘be a couple’ anymore, then try to schedule quality time to do so. There’s a reason that date night has become so popular within long-standing couples. Making the effort to spend time together – be it going to a movie, out for a meal, a picnic or whatever is one of the things that’ll keep that spark alive. Fun for both of you, a regular ‘date’ can be just what you need to remind you both why you fell in love in the first place.