Do you know someone who just seems to be happy all the time, no matter what might be going on in their lives, good or bad? There are certain things happy people just don’t do. Avoiding certain things just makes them happier. These are things you can start to avoid, too, in order to increase your own happiness.
Here are 10 things happy people never, ever do – and what they do instead.
1. Hold on to the past
Happy people honestly just know how and when to “let it go.” They let the past stay in the past. They instead focus on what the future holds for them. Keeping their eyes on what is yet to come helps them overcome the negative feelings often associated with failure, sadness and defeat. To them, focusing too much on the past and things they wish they had done differently is just a major waste of time and energy.
2. Hold back their thoughts or feelings
People who are genuinely happy never bite their tongues because they feel they do not have a right to speak up. They are strong and confident enough to say what is on their mind, whether their words will upset someone else or not. If something is bothering them, for example, they do not hesitate to say so, even if it might mean someone else’s feelings get a little bruised. Honesty, to them, is better than staying unnecessarily silent.
3. Let other people’s opinions of them influence how they feel and what they do with their lives
Truly happy individuals might take note of what other people say about them, but it is never a big deal. In the grand scheme of things, they don’t pay attention to what other people think of them. Even more importantly, they don’t let negative comments or criticism of any kind influence how they feel or act. If they ever respond to someone else’s feedback, it is because they have asked someone they trust for constructive criticism. Being told their hair looks bad does not make them immediately put on a hat to hide how their hair looks.
4. Blame other people for their problems
Happy people never put any kind of blame on anyone but themselves. If a genuinely happy person failed a test, it’s because they could have studied a little harder, not because their teacher is out tog et them or has treated them unfairly. They focus on solutions instead of just on the bad things that happen to them. They understand that even if someone else has made a mistake, other people are not always going to take responsibility for their actions; they step in and try to help fix what is broken instead of pointing fingers and pouting.
5. Tear other people down
A person who is happy never insults or criticizes someone else for the sake of hurting someone’s feelings or changing their behavior. They understand that building strong relationships means helping build other people up, instead of constantly trying to knock them down. They get more satisfaction out of helping others than they do from trying to hurt them. They understand that tearing other people down does not make any positive change in the world.
6. See only the negative characteristics of others
People who are happy might notice that a person has a few bad habits or qualities, but they never point them out or use them against that person when things go wrong. They focus on the good qualities of other people. They tend to see potential and good intentions when others do not see those things at all. They realize that everyone has good and bad qualities, but just because there are negative things about a person does not mean they are all bad all the time.
7. Only focus on what is bad about themselves
Having high self-esteem is a common characteristic among people who are genuinely happy. This heightened level of self esteem is what allows them to focus on the good things about themselves primarily, even if they do recognize that they have bad habits or things about themselves they want to work on improving. They never refer to themselves as “failures” or “lazy” when things do not go the way they planned.
8. Wait for other people to do things for them
Happy people do not wait for someone else to help them accomplish a goal. If they want something, big or small, they gather up the courage and resources to get it done themselves. The confidence happy people often radiate allows them to be more independent. They might ask other people for help when they need it, but they don’t let other people saying no or backing out of a promise stop them from doing what they want to do.
9. Depend on other people to make them happy
Probably one of the most defining traits of a happy person is their ability to be happy without needing other people’s attention, presence or approval to achieve their average level of happiness. Everyone needs social interaction and fun, but happy people do not seek out other people to make them feel good. They feel happy even when they are by themselves for a short period of time. They are independent.
10. Get jealous of other people’s milestones or success
One final thing happy people do best is cheer on their family and friends, even when they do not necessarily agree or understand. They celebrate other people’s successes no matter what, and they are genuinely happy, not just pretending to be. They do not get jealous of their friends even when it might seem like they are better off than they are. They give out high fives and congratulations without any effort or remorse. Part of what makes them happy is being happy for others.
Happy people celebrate not only others, but themselves, too. If you want to be happier, focusing on the positive aspects of life, and focusing on solutions when there are problems instead of the problems themselves, will make finding joy in the little things a much easier habit to adopt.